Drunk by noon.

Book One: Typing With My Gloves On.

SO TI was fivce or six yheqare sqago thqat i polayed teisw funny oiuettloe gqame with my friend Jadve;l hE ASDKED ME IF IOE HQAEGVER TUPED WITH GOLOVES ONL I havnt so we trieed it qansd it waq hiolasirouyl. E WERE TAQLKED IONO aim.L THOIS WQAW BNACK WJHEN AOL INSTQAND MESSENGER WAS TYHE BIG HIWST. Evertyong we h0p waqs everuyo0ne waqs on tjhaty wshit. Nowqadays its all myspace and gfabevcbook., ANYWAYK, WRE WERE YHONG AND IRT WAS REALLY FUNBy.

Book Two: Fire and Brimstone.

So I tried a new thing and, no, it wasn't typing with my gloves on. I hope you enjoyed that. It came across as a bit idiotic and totally illegible. Really, try it sometime. I want some of you to leave comments to my blog, but only if you type with winter gloves on. That shit is hard.
So it's the last ECU home game and I did a thing I've never done, I went tailgating. It's 1:20 pm and I can't actually feel my face. I got drunk in a parking lot while frat types threw footballs at me... eating hamburgers and throwing shit into the road. I know this is the Greenville experience, but it's so often that I'm hiding in a book or watching some bizarre old sci-fi film instead of diving headfirst into the People.
Really, I don't know how the fundamentalists do it. They listen to crappy music, they don't drink, the don't smoke, they don't even stay up late. Really, some of the coolest shit in the world happens at 2:43am.
If I'm to believe that we're punished for drinking alcohol, then doesn't that cover drinking at 10:00am? Really, I'm fucked if this is the case. There is a simple, yet pure, glory to staggering down the street in the blaring sunlight. You make your own music at that point, you get songs stuck in your head you haven't heard since 1995, you make illogically beautiful analogies.
I don't know where I'm going with this. Cheers.